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News 12's Brittany Miller shares a heartfelt conversation with her mom - Connecticut State Sen. Patricia Billie Miller. 

In her first-ever television interview, Sen. Miller talks about everything from being a barrier-breaker to the struggles of motherhood.

News 12's Brittany Miller shares a heartfelt conversation with her mom - Connecticut State Sen. Patricia Billie Miller.

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Article 292592 Thumbnail

My Mom, The Senator

mymomthesenator

in the summer of 1989 Patricia Billie Miller gave birth to a beautiful and I mean beautiful baby girl, that's me, Brittney Miller, even though I was daddy's little girl, this is the queen bee. This is Brittany growing up. My mom and I were stuck at the hip, going to the zoo, playing in the snow, you name it, we did it. My mom was always there And as I grew up, she grew her political career. Mom is now a state senator in Connecticut and I of course an anchor for news 12. But there's more to us than meets the public eye Baking together is kind of our thing. In fact, we've done it dozens of times later. We'll come back to the kitchen and let you in on a little family secret. But first I asked my mom to do something. She's never ever done before an official sit down interview. So for the first time in her 13 year political career, she's talking one on one on her own turf in her own element. The senate chambers at the Connecticut state capitol. Okay, so do you want me to call you mom or Senator Miller? Whatever makes you happy? Senator Miller. Oh yes, I love that ring. Alright, Now that we've gone through the pleasantries, let's get down to business. But I want to start from the beginning, you know, South Carolina July 11, 1955, when I was in South Carolina, I lived in a segregated community. I mean, it was segregation. And so I had never been exposed to anything outside the color of my skin. I was used to black doctors and lawyers and teachers and schools and hospitals, home owners. So coming to stanford was a, it was a culture shock for me. It was a culture shock to sit in a classroom with a white teacher and white students sitting next to me and my guidance council looked at me and said, you're not smart enough. And that pierced my soul because one of the things that my mom taught me is you can be anything that you want to be. I tell students that story because I graduated with a degree in mathematics and I said, had I listened to that teacher, that guidance counselor telling me I wasn't smart enough, I wouldn't have my degree. So I tried to convey to young people is don't let anyone define who you can and cannot be Being the oldest of seven and coming from a household where sometimes you guys didn't have enough to eat. How did you know how to, how to stick up for yourself and still have that identity at that age? Because it came from my mom, my mom wasn't educated. And so one of the things that she taught each one of us is that make sure that you're able to take care of yourself, make sure you get your education and we were taught, I was taught that since I was knee high, get your education used to say, get it up here because that's the only thing someone can take from you. Do you feel like you tried to pass that down to other people. I tried to be a role model for my siblings. I tried to be a role model for my staff and, and the people that I served and especially in this space, I tried to be a role model because african americans and and Children of color don't get many opportunities. I didn't let my background, I didn't let my community define who I was. I grew up in economically disadvantaged neighborhood. I grew up in public housing. I grew up around drugs, I grew up around uh prostitution. I don't like the expression about why don't you pull yourself up by your boot strings? Well I can't pull myself up if I don't have a boot string if I don't have a string to do it. And I've just learned that it's about opportunities. Success is about opportunity. Being black has been very important to me because the doors have been closed to me. You raised me to know that, you know, it takes a village and it sounds like you're trying to create that village for students or kids that may not have it. I, you know, I always say that I stand on the shoulders of men and women who died for me to be in this space that I'm in today. And so I have to be the shoulders for the young black men and women that are behind me and I just don't want to stop that young black men and women, I want to talk about women period because this space is a difficult space to be in being a legislator. It's, it's not an easy space for a woman and so to let young girls know that yes, you can do this hard work, You can do it. Were you the only black student in that in your class in your graduating class? You're right. I was the only black student in my graduating class. In fact, I was the first black student to graduate from the school. So what was that experience like you just learned how to adapt? I think as african americans, that's what we do. We learned how to adapt to situations. There's a lot of times that we're the only ones in the room. There are times that I'm the only one. I was the first african american to represent stanford. I was the only one I know who I am. I know I belong in that space. I know I worked hard to be where I am. So you just adjust and adapt. My mom's hard work certainly paid off. She's the first black person to represent stanford in the Connecticut general assembly. She's the first woman and person of color to represent the 27th district and she's one of only two black female legislatures currently serving in the state Senate and only the fourth in Connecticut's history. I never looked at what I do is breaking a barrier. I looked at as an opportunity for me to advance myself. How did you get into politics? I feel like I was in college and you're like, oh, I'm running for state rep. And I was like, okay, Cool. I realized that they come from Africa. I needed to do more. A church trip in 2015 led my mom and me to the shore's of West Africa. She calls that trip to the motherland a turning point for her deciding to quit her job and become a public servant. There was a red who wanted to raise the dropout age to 18 because in our state was 16 and he wanted to raise the dropout age. It's too expensive not to wait. It's too expensive to educate our Children. And that resonated with me. And I was like, oh no. And that's when I realized that I was where I needed to be. I'm not surprised that that, that struck a nerve with you because education has been at the forefront of anything I've ever done in my entire life. Why is that such a passion of yours? Because that's the only thing someone can't take from you. They could take your house. She used to say they could take your clothes, they could take your life, but they can't take your education as nelson Mandela says, education is the most powerful weapon to change the world. One of the things I told you Brittany was when people see you, they've already formed an opinion about you. They think that you're on welfare and public housing, you're on drugs and so I said to you, if people are going to say no to you, they're gonna have to look really deep and don't give them a reason. There you go. That's what opens the doors and that's why I just made sure that you had every opportunity to succeed. Well, thank you, mom. Sure, Brittany. Um, raising me, I always knew that you'd be home to make dinner, you'd be home to help me with my homework, which sometimes took a long time. If it was math, that couldn't have been easy for you at that time, I had to balance. I would leave home, go leave work, come home, take care of dinner, help you with your homework, put you to bed, go back to work. You went back to work? Yes. When you went to bed, I would go back to work. Sometimes. I would go to work three o'clock in the morning, come home, get you ready for school and then go back to work, take a shower, go back to work again. I had no idea. I know, but that's what mothers do. They do, what they need to do to make it work. You were my motivation the day that you came into this world. It's like my life changed where I knew that now. It's not just me, I have to take care of this other little person. But growing up I knew it wasn't just me, my mom was taken care of. I was telling my coworkers this story of the gas station, this is what I remember. We were by the train station and there was this woman, she was like she was bleeding everywhere and she was just screaming. I just remember her screams and I remember you helping her. I don't remember what you did exactly, but I know you helped her and for me seeing that at that age and knowing that you stopped to help a stranger, I was like, oh my mom is special. The scare of AIDS was really high and so people saw this woman bleeding and they just walked by fire. I remember she was at the gas station and the attendant wouldn't even come out. Eventually the the ambulance came and so it was me and two other women, we just stood around her praying. And so when I talked to the young lady went to the hospital to see her the next day, in fact she's alive. That's the way I was raised to help people and that's why I tried to raise you. I don't think a lot of people know how big of a role mama played. I want people to understand that my mother was 20 years old when she had me I was stricken with rheumatic fever as a child. And so that's when your joints swell up and my mother was very small, very thin and she had to carry me because I couldn't walk. And so she carried me up the I remember these steep stairs, she would carry me up these steep stairs each time we went to the doctor, every time I had to go to the bathroom, she was there and that kind of excuse me, Okay, that's the love that goes very deep and that same kind of love that she has for me. That's what I wanted to impart in you and show you she was a woman that sacrificed herself. She's been my motivation and my inspiration and it's really difficult to have all these accomplishments that she's not here on this earth looking at it. I know she's in heaven, but I am so grateful to have her to have had her as a mom. And I just wish that other people could experience with my sisters and my brothers and I experience the love that a mother has for a child. I am so sorry, I got to speak so and I'm sorry, so emotional. I mean I'm emotional but she was your grandmother too. So you know what I'm talking about, It's like just hit me now. I'm sort of the same way in terms of the way that I've had the same experience and I know you said you wanted to in part that same love on me. And you have like when you think about my illness is that I've had I've I've had this undiagnosed issue for a majority of my life. And if I have a flare up, you will literally drop everything that you're doing and come to help me. You have bathed me when I couldn't walk. Just cared for me in a way that like no one else can. I don't like being emotional and I don't think I've ever really told you how grateful I am for that. And I depend on you so much. And I know that if I call you, if I need you, you're there. But in hearing how mama cared for you, I just I thought about how you did that for me. That's what my mother in part in order all of her Children. Right. Well, she'd be very proud of you because you Are killing it at this mom thing. All right. Let's just go to commercial before I start crying. When we come back we take this conversation to the kitchen. How many of these do you think you've baked? 100 200 2 50. Mhm. You know when most people see my mom, they see a glass ceiling shattering powerhouse, which, let's be honest, she is what they may not know is while Patricia Billie Miller was creating her historic legacy. She was also passing down a family legacy one example, my great grandmother's lemon pound cake. Mm mm So good. But here's the thing. There's no way my mom will let me share this secret recipe for this cake. But we can share the recipe for a loving mother daughter relationship. I love you. Mom. I love you too bad. Or at least we can try. No, no, no. Hold on. No more. Mm hmm. Put it back please. As you probably know with any cake or relationship. It all starts with the base. What's the first step mom? What I like to do is I like to grease and flour the pan. A lot of people who are not in our family don't know that you like baking so much. So, did you always bake with your great grandmother? No, because she lived in south Carolina and then I just started baking it. And it really meant a lot after she passed away. Mm hmm. This is her mixer is older than you. Okay. So I will never reveal my age. But hopefully my mom will reveal how she managed to balance a full time job and motherhood From my perspective, you think about what you have to do? It stresses you out, right? And so, you know, you have to do it. I have to after work. I have to go pick up Brittany from school and then I have to take Brittany home. Um then I have to go back to work. Alright, so next, what I'm going to do is I'm going to cream the butter. Mm hmm. I don't know other women that can do what you do. So like what advice would you give them in order to keep going And and fit all these all these things into their schedule. Whether it's like picking up their kids up and cooking dinner and like balancing all of that. My mom taught me. And she told all of her girls that once you have a child life isn't no longer about you. It's about that child and making sure that they're taking care of for me. I needed to work. That was an important part of me. But you shouldn't feel the consequences of that. So, I had to balance it somehow. I'll be honest. I do remember thinking like my mom is a bit of a workaholic. I was I wanted to be a mom. And so when I did that, I was like, oh my gosh, how am I going to balance this? I think that when I look back, I should have spent more time when I see moms today, I tell them to stay home with their Children as long as they can because they need that bonding. You were blessed and that we had nana, my aunt and she took care of you until you were two years and nine months. Mhm. Okay. Because it's your great grandmother's recipe. My great grandmother's recipe. Your grandmother's recipe. Do you feel like it connects to you? you know to south Carolina brings you back home in a way it connects me to her. So knowing that I have a mixer and I have a recipe. What do you think? Great grandma, josephine would think of who you are now and all your success. So she would be very proud of me. She was tough. You know like my ma see momma, you guys got the good part of my mom. You didn't know you got the grandmother part, you didn't get the mother part, the grandmother apart. She was still pretty tough, you know? But as the mother, she was tougher. So that's you know that's where I get mine from. We come from a family tough women come from a family of women. Okay. And what does that mean? Do you want me to sit on camera? Yeah, I mean I think I should I should know these things well we were very straightforward people. You were always taught to speak your mind and mean what you say and be a person of your word but always we were always taught to speak our minds. Sometimes you guys say that we don't have a filter. You don't have a I can always count on my mom to keep me in check. Hold on no more. Put it back please. Okay I believe there. Look at that yummy nous and I can also count on her to be my biggest supporter when I watch you on tv at night. I think about my sacrifices and it all paid off. You know, just the crazy schedules, making sure that, you know, working and making sure that you're in the places that you need to be all your extracurricular activities. And I'm just so I'm grateful. You're a strong woman, you are a strong black woman and I'm proud of you. Doesn't mean I'm a tough woman like you and mama and we won't notice that you have Children. I regret that, you know, grandma, nana and mama aren't here to see it. I know they're watching from heaven. So I guess I should say that they're not here to share it with and because they were very they played very important roles in your upbringing. Do you think that mama and nana would be proud of you in terms of the mom that you became? I mean, they saw your mother and me for a pretty long time. But it was funny your grandmother used to say to me, you're too tough on her. I said, mom, you have to be kidding me, right? No, I wasn't too tough. I just, you know, I just came from a time where you you just prepared your Children for the world. I mean, you were a black child going into the world and I know the challenges and the obstacles that I faced and I just wanted you to be prepared for that. You know, like I was prepared because of the melanin in your skin. You're gonna have challenges and I wanted you to be intelligent. I want you to be articulate. Part of that came from the place of fear. You wouldn't be able to handle what the world had to throw at you as a black woman. And so, um, I just wanted to make sure you're prepared for the world. Thank you mom. I appreciate that. No, I'm happy that you've been around too encourage me and see me. And I think a lot of people probably don't know That, you know, you pray with me when I need you to pray with me. You are the person that I call usually if I need advice on something or help with something. Like I think I call you probably, I don't know like 15 times a day. But no, I just look to you, especially as I'm getting older now, I think I look to you for just so much guidance and I think on and I was thinking about this the other day. I think I regret that it's happening later in my, in my life, Girls and their moms and their twenties sometimes are on like two different sides of the spectrum and sort of doing their own thing. So I wish it happened earlier. But I'm happy of tapping. You know, our foundation was always there and you do have that tension between mothers and daughters. You know, I've just been waiting for us to get back to you know where we are, where we were when you were younger. You know that closeness and just talking and just going out doing things and so it's it's a good feeling. It's a good feeling. It truly is some may call it the icing on the cake. Speaking of, I think this pound cake needs a few more minutes in the oven and when we come back, a special guest makes a special cameo before we check on the cake. I had to ask my mom something. I've really been wanting to know why do this interview now. I did it because you're my daughter. So that's why I feel comfortable. What else can I ask for? Um I don't know brit, what else do you want? Really? It's not easy to be honest. This story has given me more than I could ever ask for and I think my mom feels the same way. I have to admit. I will admit that I did this kicking and screaming, but I want to thank you because it has been a rewarding experience. Are you excited? Yes, I'm very excited. It's gonna be the best interview ever because number one, it allowed us to spend some time together, which we don't get to do. Like we used to when you were younger because we both have busy schedules and we're on a different schedule with you working at night, but it gave us an opportunity to talk and share memories and To you to hear some things you never heard before. I just want to say thank you to you and news 12 for giving me the opportunity to share this moment with you and to bake this delicious cake. Drop it, drop it, drop it. But it wouldn't be a true family affair without the man who helped make it all possible. My daddy, he's a man of few words. Not unlike his wife who shines away from the spotlight but will always highlight others. A woman whose determination open stores of opportunity for those who need it the most. I can tell you that through her love, her faith, passion and sacrifice. She has become my inspiration and motivation. My mom. The senator is the woman I one day hope to be. Mm hmm, mm hmm.

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