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LI Love: How to build healthier relationships

<p>News 12 Long Island's Carol Silva sat down with therapist and relationship expert Debra M. Roberts to get some tips on&nbsp;how to build a healthier relationship that will last longer.</p>

News 12 Staff

Feb 14, 2018, 12:32 PM

Updated 2,502 days ago

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LI Love: How to build healthier relationships
WOODBURY - It's Valentine's Day! Do you know how to build a healthier relationship that will last longer? 
News 12 Long Island's Carol Silva sat down with therapist and relationship expert Debra M. Roberts to get some tips.
Roberts says that on Valentine's Day you shouldn't be pressured into saying "I Love You."  
"Just focus on how you feel, and express it honestly and kindly," says Roberts.
If you're disappointed on how Valentine's Day turns out, Roberts says to check your expectations, and make sure they are realistic. This advice can be used for any difficult situation.
"If you want to say something, it's really helpful to state your intentions up front," says Roberts. "So you have a better shot at the person not hearing it as an attack, or whether they're going to get defensive or be reactive, but instead want to listen to you." 
Roberts also says that in a confrontation we shouldn't focus on winning. "Important relationships are never about winning or being right. It's all about both people, and winning makes us focus on only ourselves," she says.